The Mind's I


I've been listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Streets of Philadelphia" over and over again. Actually, not Springsteen's rendition but an acappella one. From the 'Bubs. It is so moving. Thinking about the song makes me nearly cry. It makes me want to reach out to all those lonely people out there and tell them that they aren't alone.

I was bruised and battered
I couldn't tell what I felt
I was unrecognizable
I saw my reflection in a window I didn't know
My own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me
Wastin' away
On the streets of Philadelphia

I walked the streets till my legs felt like stone
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone
At night I could hear the blood in my veins
Black and whispering as the rain
On the streets of Philadelphia

Ain't no angel gonna greet me
It's just you and I my friend
My clothes don't fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles
Just to slip this skin

The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake
I can feel myself fading away
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of Philadelphia


The Obscure Store and Reading Room
What an interesting find! I should read this place more often.

A daily updated place that has also some interesting information and links.


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February 6, 1999
She's legal, baby!

No photograph of myself today. It's kind of sad. I have no photographs of myself from yesterday or today. I suppose that I'll make up for it by putting a lot of other images up today.

The first was a fascinating image I saw yesterday morning. Every day, I lug my digital camera to work and back with me. The scenes aren't particularly exciting. Most of the time, I'm not even looking at what's around me, since most of the time I'm asleep on the bus to Port Authority. If I'm lucky and get a great seat on the M42 and I can lean on my arm and snooze. Well, I got a great seat yesterday. I was settling down to take a snooze when I looked out of my window and noticed that I was looking out in front of the Times Square subway entrance. In front of the subway, I saw a most amusing sight.

Yellow Man

What was it?
Was it man?
Was it machine?
Oh, it was definitely a man. A man covered in what appeared to be large post-it notes. The bus stopped at the light and I quickly pulled out my camera and turned it on.

Oh my oh my oh my.. don't drive away. Don't drive away. I saw all the heads in the crowded bus turn and look towards the bizarre sight to the right side of the bus. Yellow Man, Part DeuxI quickly turned on my camera and switched off the flash. I didn't need it and if it went off, it would reflect off the glass. I snapped three quick images, one blurry and not included here. I really didn't notice the woman standing with the covered man until the bus started driving away, so it was only after I retrieved the images from my camera afterwards that I could read the large "Work Sucks." on her sign. I wish I knew what it was for. I have no idea what "Office Space" is. I was tempted to get off at the next stop and walk back but, I was already late for work.

If it was in the evening and I didn't need to get anywhere.. or if I wasn't going to be late for work, I would have definitely stopped. I would have never done that a year ago. I'm becoming more spontaneous and willing to grab those moments of life that typically leave us. I like that. I like the person that I am becoming.


Over lunch today, I discovered the Gotham Writers' Workship. They offer seminars in memoir writing and poetry and I am thinking of taking an intensive weekend course with Els. Els would take the poetry course and I would take the memoir writing course. I talked it over with her and she seemed definitely interested. I offered to pay for her tuition. That pleased my parents.


I purchased my sister's cake on Friday. Well, I ordered it in the morning.
It was a darned expensive cake ($80) and I wasn't sure it was worth it. I called my mother after I bought the cake and she proceded to yell at me about how I was irresponsible with spending my money. I justified my purchase by saying that this was the first time that I will really celebrate Els' birthday in many years. I didn't even really give her anything last year (yeah, I know, bad sister.. but at the time I was unemployed and struggling, so she is understanding about the entire thing). So, I decided to really splurge this year. When I went to pick up the cake today, I know I wasn't disappointed. The cake was beautiful. Plus, I got introduced to the beauty of the Cupcake Cafe which is the store that I purchased the cake at. It is a beautiful place on the corner of 39th street and 9th avenue. It's small and has seating for maybe a half dozen people. The smells of baking wafe through the tiny bakery. The cakes they had were masterpieces. Works of art. The way that the artists manipulate the buttercream frosting is worked like oil paint. The line was tremendously long when I went to pick up my cake at around 5 today. I was inclined to walk up to the counter, when I realized that everyone in line was awaiting their cake that they ordered. What I considered to be a 15 minute stop to pick up my cake ended up being an hour wait for it. But it was well worth it. I picked up a cake and six cupcakes (pictured here) and the Cupcake Cafe cookbook that details many great recipes. I think I shall try some someday and I promise to tell you all about those... ahem... experiments.


Well, today is my sister's birthday. Els turns 18. Yow! She's getting old. I purchased her gift yesterday with Mike: a marionette with a tear on its cheek. I think she really loved it. I was debating between that and a large congo drum. I gave her the choice and she chose the marionette. We decided to cut the cake tomorrow during her Accent rehearsal, so that the other Accentgrrls can see the cake before we cut through it. I'll put up pics tomorrow with the cake. Mike got her a beautiful book of photographs of dancers all posed in midair. Some of them are beautiful and look impossible to me. "How did she get up in the air like that?" It reminded me of the pictures of dancers underwater. Ever see that? Beautiful. Beautiful.

The human form is just, exquisite.


With the beginning of my sister's life as a legal adult, a great world leader is ending his life. King Hussein is returning home to Jordan to die. I am definitely saddened by this. King Hussein is someone that I've seen on television and admired greatly. He's a wonderful speaker and I love hearing about how much he's done for peace in the middle east. Now, I don't know too much about history... but what I have heard recently... things have taken a real turn for the positive. And right where things are really heading somewhere, his health takes a turn for the worse. Terrible.

I know the world will mourn his loss.

© Copyright 1999, Eileene Coscolluela