The Mind's I


I am really in love with this song.

I first heard it on a BOCA CD. I thought it was pretty, but nothing impressive. Then I went with my college a cappella group (the Ripchords) to Oberlin to sing in an a cappella festival. There were many groups there, including the ever delicious Beelzebubs from Tufts University.

An all-women group from Oberlin sang this. They were awesome! The members of my group complained that none of them wore bras on stage. I liked their singing and they definitely catered to the large lesbian and bisexual community on Oberlin's campus (they sang "Next Time I'll Be Sure the Lady's a Friend" or something like that). They sang this song. I love it. I'm not exactly sure what it means. Anyone have any suggestions?

"This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush

Pray God you can cope.
I'll stand outside
This woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man.
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking:
All the things I should have said, but I never said.
All the things we should have done, but we never did.
All the things I should have given, but I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away!

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

(I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.)

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should have said, but I never said.
All the things we should have done, but we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should have given, but I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.


The ever-talented, every-lovely, ever uber-cool femina, Ginko, is back! I know I've missed her...

Get High

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February 12, 1999
On True Love

No photograph today. It's strange. It's not for lack of taking photographs. Thanks to heyoka, I did a photo series. She inspired me with these words:

"shots out of the window...maybe stagger it, take them every five minutes, on the dot, of the journey. some totally random rule like that."

Genius! Eureka! Oui la! Pictures of everything but the girl.

I left work a bit on the early side in hopes to try and get to the Compleat Strategist to buy Mike's Valentine's Day gift. Little did I know that they close early on Fridays. So, I had the cab I took take me to Port Authority. I didn't feel like putting in so much energy to find another place to buy his present. Besides, I have a lot of tomorrow to buy his gift. When I told Mike later in the evening about how the store was closed when I got there, he gave me an amused look and reminded me that only a few weeks ago, he discovered that they weren't open on Fridays. Iko's forgetfulness strikes again. It's amazing that I remember any detail of my life.


WASHINGTON, DC (EC Press) -- Today, President Clinton was cleared of all charges. This wasn't a particular surprise to me. I expected this to happen. I knew it was going to happen when the House started its procedures. However, I think it was right for them to go through the process. Yes, I recognize that the entire thing was extremely wasteful... that the Senators should have spent their time and money and energy into other things... but I think it needed to be done. To satisfy everyone. If the process didn't go through, I expect we would be hearing comments from the Republicans now about how it was unfair and didn't follow proper procedure.

Now what? Censure. I think that the President should be censured... and heavily. Mike has a really strong proposal. Not just to censure him, but to have the next two years of his presidency be unproductive. Systematically disregard his recommendations, have all of his ideas squashed until he leaves office. I think this isn't a good idea since that will be two years that we'll be paying him for essentially doing nothing... but there is something to Mike's idea that he should know and be punished in some way for his behavior. Perhaps he should be tried after he leaves office. I don't know. I just don't want Clinton to get away with this scott-free. His behavior is unacceptale to me.

This reminds me of the Simpson case. He got off the criminal case. However, I did feel some vindication when he lost the civil case. I want something like that to happen to Clinton. He got off the criminal case, but I want something else to happen to him too. Oh, and Hillary should divorce him. I like her. She should run for the New York Senate. She'll easily win over Guilliani (who I think tends to micromanage and not see the "big picture") if he runs. I'm glad that Hillary's political career seems unfazed from the actions of her husband. It's something that demonstrates women are having independent identities from their husbands... which is a very welcome sight to me.

As for President...
Elizabeth Dole 2000!


With Valentine's Day coming up, I've got love on the brain. It seems that a lot of people around me are the same and someone on ScribeTribe mentioned "true love". I just had to reply...


I don't believe in the concept of "true love".
I also don't believe in the concept of "the one".
Looking at my love life in that way would probably get me very depressed... put too high expectations on my current lover to be that ideal and if I didn't have one, would make me think that it would be impossible to find this person amonst the billions of people on the planet.

Yes, there is a big ocean out there.. but I look at compatibility as a range. There are people that are distant from me and probably would not be a good partner for me (the types that resent their partner spending a great deal of time in front of the computer, who aren't into games, who don't like to read, etc). There are people that are semi-close that I could have a relationship with but a lasting one? Unlikely (people who sing a cappella, gamers, book enthusiasts). Then there are people that fall close enough to me to be high on the compatibility factor (people who sing a cappela, are gamers, AND love to read; computerscience / engineering / mathematics types). They are few and far between, but there are definitely more than a handful.

I kid around with my partner every once in a while saying, "what do you think I would do without you?"

He replies back, "Be dating another geek like me."


Well, someone disagreed with me. Here is my reply to her.


>>I beg to differ...:-) I believe in true love (YES we are visiting this topic again and NO WONDER...4 days from now it's that dreaded day...VALENTINE's!) I believe in "The One"....especially Elton John's "The One" :-) (Good song) I mean think about it, Launcelot and Guenivere (sp?), Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester, Christine and Eric, Romeo and Juliet, Benedick and Beatrice... Perhaps it is ingrained in Literature and TV and songs, but why are we so enamoured of Romance (Pun intended) if there maybe isn't something to it.<<

I don't know.
It seems to be the product of fiction more than reality. ;)

And I think Romance is different from the idea of "The One". Love for me isn't always syrupy-sweet. It hurts sometimes... but that hurt makes it more real for me. Know what I mean?

I believe in a deep love.. the kind of love between two best friends, confedants, peers that ignites into the passion of lovers. But does that make it "true love" (when I say "true love", I am taking about the love that comes with the idea of *one* "Mr./Ms. Right")? I believe that someone can have the passion of their lives. The love of their lives. But that they can have that love with more than one person. Every love is different so, I can't correctly call it "the same", but it would have the same fire and intensity and depth.

But waiting for "The One"... for me this is an exercise in futility. You might find someone darned close (like my partner and myself) but they aren't perfect. My partner isn't perfect. He has his faults and slips. But you know, that makes it all the better. I love him for his imperfections. I've met another guy that comes "darned close". I could have just as wonderful and meaningful relationship with him if I wanted to. But I had a guy already. So we're just really wonderful friends. If my partner died, then I know that there is someone out there that *can* give me the same amount of depth and love and passion that I'm having with my current partner. It would be different... but it has the potential to be as powerful as the one that I have now.

>>I believe in true love, I believe some one out there is meant for me and only for me. If I discover that my currant love of my life is not the "One" I shall simply shrug my shoulders and thank GOD that I did not progress too far, ie Marriage. (And for an atheist, Thanking God is a pretty big thing) It at least gives us hope in dark times in our romantic lives....<<

What would happen if you got married and then discovered afterwards that they aren't "The One"?

I've also come to the realization that when it comes to love, relationships are rarely symmetrical. What I love Mike for, he doesn't love me for.. but what he loves me for, I don't love him for. But that's okay. There have been people that I have loved but don't love me back... or they do but not with the same intensity or in the same way. There have been people that loved me but I didn't love them back.

Then again, don't listen to me. I'm a cynical old crone who found the love of her life when she stopped looking for "The One". Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

© Copyright 1999, Eileene Coscolluela