The Mind's I


I found a beautiful biblical quote. I could probably read into it heavily and find objection to it in some level, but when I heard it on the tv (I had "Touched by an Angel" turned on just for background noise), my head just snapped to hear it. I found it quite beautiful... perhaps because it seems to give a great deal of hope for people. Sometimes, that's all that some people need to pick themselves up.

I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick --Ezekiel 34:16


I watched Funny Girl today. I like this song. It speaks to me with its independence.

Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to.
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you.
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.
Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter.
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade.

I'll march my band out! I'll beat my drum!
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir.
At least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir.
I guess I didn't make it

But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection,
Or a freckle on the nose of life's complexion,
The Cinderella or the shiny apple of it's eye.
I gotta fly once. I gotta try once.
Only can die once. Right, sir?
Ooh life is juicy. Juicy and you see
I gotta have my bite, sir.

Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer.
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.

I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
All that the law will allow!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw, that bell will go clang!
Tho' I'm alone I'm a gang!
Eye on the target and wham!
One shot, one gun shot and bam!

It reminds me of Auntie Mame. I enjoy things that remind me of her. "Live, live, live!" Do that.

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December 27, 1998
The Hermit

Colorized Iko in Black and White Isn't that color treatment great? It reminds me of those cards that Mike hates. You know the ones, Constant Reader. I'm talking about those cards that have a young boy and girl in a sweet position (boy offering girl flowers, a smooch under a umbrella, sharing a chocolate malt at a soda shop) where the photograph was taken in black and white and then the boy and girl (or parts of them) are colorized. It was nifty the first time he saw it, but now Mike finds them absolutely annoying. I agree with him that they are overdone, but every once in a while, I'll see one that is an interesting composition and it will catch my eye. These days, they don't. It's the "I've seen it before" syndrome. Something has to be pretty spectacular to catch my eye. I call my composition: "Colorized Iko in Black and White". The color that my digital camera seeps out is terrible and so I've had to improvise. I saw a great photo that my father took of my sister sitting on the toilet and looking glum. Well, I tried a "thinker" type of pose on the toilet... and I end up looking just like a chunky chik on the toilet. <grin> I kept posing in different positions but nothing was particularly eyecatching.. so I chose the best one for today's image. No, I am not doing anything "wowah"-able on the toilet. Just sitting on it. I'm trying to get more full-body compositions. You know what my face looks like, but what about the rest of me? I might end up not being that interesting of a subject. "You've seen one chunky asian chik, you've seen 'em all." ;)

I just came to a really awful realization. I haven't stepped outside from my house since December 23rd. I have spent the past 4 days indoors, the only real contact with the outside has been opening my bedroom window when the temperature gets really hot in my room and for ventillation. Young IkoOne of my New Year's Resolutions should be to take a walk every day, even a small one. I'm a natural hermit. I can sit in front of my computer for hours... days on end if I could. As I get chunkier, I get harder to move (there is something to Newton's First Law. Hey! I did learn something in physics!). It's harder to apply myself and really exercise. It's almost to the point of being disgusting. <sigh> To make matters kind of worse (although I completely do not blame him), my friend Mike sent me photographs of me when I was younger. Man, I was a cute, thin young thing! I must have been 15 or younger at the time. I figure, if I used to be thin, then I could be thin again, right? I'm not talking thin meaning skinny. I want to be thin so that I can wear the clothes I want to. I want to get a navel pierce and bare it! I'm too self-concious to do that. I think I'm a good person. Interesting personality. Good, but goofy smile. Intelligent. Inquisitive. I just wish I had as good of a physical image as I have a mental one. Young Iko, Part Deux So, that is my New Year's Resolution. To get in shape in some way. That means more exercise (walking) and trying to eat better. That's especially hard to do because I sometimes feel I'm always hungry. Perhaps I shall try to drink and munch on "snack food" constantly. So that my meals are smaller (ideally). I tried dieting before and I did lose weight, but it really wasn't particularly healthy. Anyone have suggestions on how I should go about it?

Anyone willing to "diet" and "get in shape" with me? I've heard that having a buddy will make the transition easier. I might ask Mike to help me. He's gettin' a little pudgy these days! He's coming back tomorrow. <bounce of excitement> It's strange. I mean, when I think about him, I miss him terribly. I always want him to be around so when I encounter something cool, I can share it with him. However, the past eight days were like a whirlwind. Perhaps it's because I've been distracted either by my family or working on my website, so it left little time sitting around and moping about Mike not being around. Plus, having him not around is nice so that I can focus on my website and creative juices. When he's around I want to spend time with him. Thankfully, he's "low maintenance". Sometimes, he will even goad me to work on my website! A man who definitely understands my heart.

Anyway, it looks like my image for the Helen Mirren Appreciation Society has caused quite a stir in the group and I've been asked my several members and the website mistress to help with the design of the site and a formal logo for the organization. Very cool! Gosh, it's such a wonderful feeling to be thought of as "good" in website design. I might play around with some ideas. I've got to have the ideas churning around in my head for a few days/weeks/months and let them come out naturally. I'm going to start thinking of some basic design changes for the site. I'll let you know my ideas. I'm going to start using my journal as a sounding board for my creative ideas. You may comment as you like, Constant Reader. Heck, I would encourage it! Putting my ideas down in writing really help them grow and develop; and I've found the longer that they are allowed to develop, the better they get.

I've also been asked to help with a design that is "1940s Film Noir style". Eeps! I have no really tangible idea what style that is. I found some websites that deal with Film Noir and I get the style of photographs and images of the time... but I am clueless when it comes to typography. Everytime I think about it, I keep thinking Art Deco, which is 1920s style. Anyone have any suggestions?

More things tomorrow, Constant Reader...

© Copyright 1998, Eileene Coscolluela