He was Bob's best friend when I was dating him. He was my best friend too, back then. When I went to Bob with my problems with George, I went to Frank for my problems with Bob. He was infatuated with this girl. I was infatuated with him. In stepped...

I adored him. I couldn't not adore him. He took my mind off Frank and he was a realist. The first one in my life. We flirted online heavily, but he remained very stoic about our budding relationship. I have to meet you, Eileene. Until I do, all you are are words on a screen. I remember our first date like it was yesterday. It must have been a wonderful thing -- so little in my life I remember with such clarity. We broke up reluctantly since he left for the military. Which brought be back to...

Our relationship was crazy. He moved to Pennsylvania and seeing him was a chore. We had our friends taxi us around to see each other. I let him go in the end. He was still infatuated with her.

Twin Peaks was a national craze. I found a kindred spirit. He was yang and I was his ying, our pet names for each other. I remember the first photograph he gave to me. On the back it read "Don't lose this picture. There aren't many pictures of me and this is a good one." I still have that photograph. However, I was an insatiable flirt and he was infinitely jealous and broke up with me when he found out I flirted online with someone else.

The one man in my life I want to forget. I only dated him because Tim disliked him immensely. This was the first and only relationship that I was actually scared to be in. When he would get angry, he put his hand through his bedroom wall. I left before he could do that to me.

My umfriend. It was wonderful, but in the end he got himself a girlfriend (whom he has married) and I got myself

He was obsessed with trains. There's nothing like necking in the electronic innards of a gigantic train set. He was much older than I was (atleast 10 years older than me). The one important lesson I brought from him was I should never be stagnant. He was stagnant. His life led nowhere. He was intelligent but didn't apply it and aspired to nothing but what he was doing at that moment. He had no ambition. He had no real drive for life. I stopped calling him. He never called me. I moved. He stayed.

One year of chastity.

It lead to three years of a wild life. I want to forget a lot of it. Sometimes, I want to take back those years, take back the childhood that I really didn't have. But I can't and shouldn't. My experiences, good and bad, have molded me into the creature that I am today. I couldn't be this Eileene. I would be something else. Perhaps with the same face and the same body but a different mind.

In the end I learned not to have relationships for relationship's sake. At the end of three years, I was tired. I needed to focus on my schoolwork and college and my future. I met all of these men online and I left that online world after Todd. That was hard.

I came back to it, for a moment, after I started college and had the permanence that Mike gave me. When I left it again, it wasn't so hard.

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